The moon was at its highest, dousing the world below in its borrowed light. Eros prowled the forests, determined in his goal. Within a week, they had lost three children. Not only had Vayko abandoned his children, he was causing them to scatter out into the world far before they were ready for it. And their poor, mute Little Fox... "Jacynth!" he called their names each, loud and distinctly articulated, while his nose worked through the myriad of scents available to it at any given moment. Nothing so far, and he'd been out here how often? Eros didn't even want to think about how far out they might have actually gotten by now, or all that could have gotten to them first... "Euna! Little!" |
Jacy was scared.
It wasn't the first time he'd been lost but it was the first time he'd run off on purpose, intent on finding his dad and not coming back until he did, but being alone in strange places hit differently and he'd forgotten how lonely the nights were.
The problem is now he wasn't entirely sure the way back home. He wasn't a tiny puppy anymore and he knew the general direction, but he couldn't seem to pin down the backwater exactly. He was fighting back tears and trying to keep moving when he heard it - his cousin's voice. Jacy stopped, listening and trying to ignore the thumping of hope on his chest, and then made a beeline towards the voice. "Eros!" he shouted even as the man came into view, and Jacy came to a halt in front of him panting harder than he should have been for the short sprint.
He burst into tears.
"Speech" Thought
Eros' ears jumped as someone finally answered back. The voice was distinctly Jacy's, and he broke into a sprint to find the boy. While his adoptive little brother stopped short, the leader did not. He snuffled all over the large youth's frame to make sure he didn't need any kind of medical attention before pulling his shaking body into tight embrace, one forelimb hooked across his shoulders. "Thank the gods," he breathed with no small measure of relief. "I am so glad you're safe, Jacy." He would pull back when he felt a lull in the younger Valle's crying. "What happened?" It was likely easy to assume, but there could have been plenty of other things that had stolen Jacynth away instead. Like the coyotes that had apparently attacked Lil'... |
Eros appeared just as happy to see Jacy as Jacy was to see him. He snuffled him all over and embraced him and the sobbing boy pressed his face into the leader's chest, assuring himself that everything was okay - even though it very much wasn't . Eros murmured thanks into his ears and Jacy's crying eventually abated.
The inevitable question came and the boy looked up at his cousin, his leader, and sniffed. "I wanted to find dad," he said. "I just want him to come home. Why did he leave?" this question was spoken quietly to the ground, and tears welled up again, his voice thickening as he looked hopelessly up at Eros. "But I couldn't find him."
"Speech" Thought
Of course. Eros' ears swept back, deep sympathy curving his features. It had to be worse for them than when @Vanadis hadn't come back to him and his full siblings, because his mother's absence had been intended to be temporary. She hadn't chosen to vanish, but Vayko had made it very clear; he had decisively abandoned his children and their mother, and vowed to never return. Eros himself had done his best to avoid saying that specifically, didn't want the memory of their dad to be any more painful for them, but they kept asking for answers. It was only to be expected, it was something they had every right to do. Eros' jaw opened and closed several times. He was at a loss for words, for how to truly help. "... Jacy..." His own gaze fell, and it felt as though the walls of his throat had thickened. "... I don't know why. The things your dad told your Uncle Vi, they... they didn't make sense," and they weren't worth repeating, "but... he made it clear that, he wants to be gone. As much as we might want to, even when we love them deeply, we can't make others stay." |
Jacy had lost a lot in his short life, though he'd been too young to understand all of it. He knew now that his mom and dad, the ones who'd given him life, had gone. His father before he'd been born, his mother so shortly after he left the den for the first time. So soon he barely remembered a shape in the den with them. That was okay, because he had his real parents and always had. Even when his littermates abandoned him, one after the other, his parents had remained his rock. His stability. And then his dad had yanked that safety from him like ice fracturing beneath his feet.
He looked hopelessly up at Eros, understanding but not wanting to. He didn't want to accept that his dad had just run away without saying goodbye, without asking if they wanted to go with him, without explaining... that his dad wanted to abandon them, just like everyone else. "But... but why?" he asked again, voice breaking. "Did I do something wrong? Does he not love us anymore?"
"Speech" Thought
Those follow-up questions caused him both pain and anger, his voice practically leaping out of his throat to assure his brother-cousin. "You did nothing to cause this, I swear it. Your dad's problem was with other adults, not you or your siblings. I..." Eros stopped himself, stream-of-thought not an appropriate tactic in this moment even as his emotions tried to rush ahead of him. This was so goddamned unfair, and his cousin had chosen it. There was no way Vayko hadn't know that this would be the conclusion his children would come to, especially when he hadn't even allowed them the dignity of a goodbye. More and more, Eros felt certain that if the wolf ever did come crawling back, he would meet him with teeth. Secretly, deep deep down, he hoped they would all come to hate Vayko too. As awful as it sounded, it would make all of this easier to move on from. Or perhaps, that would only be true for Eros... "Let's get you home, your mother needs to know that you are safe. Then, if you want, we'll talk more, okay?" |
Eros's words helped... but only a little. Jacy wasn't sure he believed him. He wasn't little anymore, he knew things weren't always simple, and he knew something had happened. He just didn't understand what could have been so bad that his dad left without saying goodbye if he wasn't mad at them. And now Jacy felt truly alone, both his littermates having gone too.
There was a common denominator and that was him.
Jacy sniffed and nodded, too tired to argue and not wanting to worry his mom and further. He immediately felt guilty at the mention of Clover; she was already so upset, and he'd just run off without thinking. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, head hanging. "I didn't mean to make anyone worry." He wondered if he would even be missed, or if they'd all be glad the last of his birth mother's children were gone, a burden on the pack that had been abandoned. His eyes welled with tears again. He hadn't even been good enough for his parents.
"Speech" Thought