Lost Lake A little help, please...

Although she didn't seem the gushing type of wolf, Ava's sympathy eased Jade's nerves even more. It was clear that the black fae was making an effort for her and the tiny wolf would not forget it. Taking another small step, which finally brought her fully out of the bushes, she smiled shyly at Ava's reassurance that she would indeed find Steel someday. The she asked about her travels and Jade dipped her head a bit and her face warmed.

Then she glanced up at Ava and answered softly, <b>"A f-few months now. I've b-been following S-Steel's trail since I found out M-Mother died."</b> Although she still stuttered, it wasn't as bad and a tiny spark of happiness found seed in Jade. It would start all over again with the next wolf, but at least it had gotten better with the dark female. She looked down as she said the next words though, <b>"It's hard to find a wolf that doesn't want to be found though."</b> Her voice was quiet and filled with sadness, sounding a bit discouraged.

(This post was last modified: Jul 05, 2012, 07:43 PM by Jade.)

<blockquote>Much to her happiness the small female seemed to be put at ease by her demeanor. It had been forced earlier, but now the gratification of success certainly did please Ava to a further extent, which helped keep her small smile wide. Now that Jade was fully out of the open, the black-furred female almost felt the urge to step back a bit, in case her confidence betrayed her and she felt threatened by the slightly shortened distance between themselves. Yet the Poison Second refused to allow it, in case her motion was taken the wrong way. Instead Ava remained in place, seated casually and still, while the green-eyed female decided to share a few more details.

Ava guarded her heart from the female's sad story; dead mother, absent brother. Wasn't everyone always in the same predicament? Why was there so much sadness in the world? Of course, as the dark female now knew, that was just the way of life. Half agony... half ecstasty. It was always hard to remember the latter. Her amber eyes flickered back toward Jade as she mentioned her brother's lack of want for her company, and she could not help but lift her chin a little. "<b>Then why are you bothering?</b>" The words, to her surprise, came out with no venom within them. Instead it was a genuine inquiry - why bother if it wasn't going to end well? The female was shy, no doubt about it, but everyone was capable of creating their own destiny. Deep down, they were.</blockquote>

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Ava listened intently and seemed confused as to why she would bother to look for Steel, knowing his desire to stay away. <i>Why bother, indeed?</i> With a small sad smile, Jade shrugged her small shoulder and looked at her tiny paws. <b>"B-because he's all I have l-left."</b> She paused as she truly thought on it farther. There was more to it. He had strangely been her only bit of hope in their youth. It would be hard for an outsider to understand without knowing all the details, but she decided to say a bit more anyways. She looked back up at the other female and said, <b>"When M-Mother was at her w-worst, S-Steel was there for m-me."</b> It hadn't been much, but his flickers of compassion had shown her that someone cared that she was even alive. Mother sure hadn't.

Feeling embarrassed now, Jade dipped her head again as heat traveled up her neck to her face, but she didn't retreat back into the bushes, much as she wanted to. She thought to herself, <i>Ava didn't really want to hear about her sad story, she was just being nice.</i> Regardless, her kindness was appreciated and made Jade want to cry. She had a feeling it would make Ava uncomfortable, so she held back her tears and mere gave a small sniff as she tried to collect herself and not fall apart in front of the confident female.

<blockquote>Ava stared blankly as Jade revealed that her brother was, basically, her last hope. There was some sort of abusive mother relationship that, in the mix, turned a rough brother into an occasional shoulder to lean on. It made sense; no wonder she would want to find the person who had been the last ledge to keep her from falling to rock bottom. Except for the part where he had left, and thereby tossed her to the end of her rope himself. The words nearly came out of her throat, pressing against her teeth as she desired to inform Jade that he had ditched her regardless of what kindness he'd done before, but the small female had made it clear she had no ears for the kinds of words Ava often spoke. Furthermore the little thing looked as though she were about to suffer some horrific breakdown. A grimace appeared on her face, but it was not because she was embarrassed for the female - rather that Ava had no idea how to comfort her, or what to do at all. Exhaling a small sigh she smiled something gentle and tried.

"<b>He may be,</b>" she began with a small shrug. "<b>But just because he's all you've got left doesn't mean he's what's best, you know? There's plentiful game and land in this place, and company too. You could be surrounded by friends, and safety, and not just a cold-shouldered brother. It's hard and you don't have to be ready for it now, but keep it in mind, maybe?</b>" The advice was genuine, but she held Jade's pale gaze steadfast. Ava really did want the female to understand the sincerity of her words - they were no mere mumbles for comfort. "<b>Leave the past behind you.</b>" At once the very hypocracy of her words smacked Ava in the fact with the force of lightning, but she allowed no recognition to appear on her face. Instead she remained with that delicate little smile on her face, refusing to let it crack under the weight of her emotions.</blockquote>

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Jade thought on the words of the other female. What she said made complete sense and perhaps she would be able to do that someday. Leave the past in the past and just live for today, to live life to it's fullest. She just wasn't ready to do that yet. Not today anyhow. Her search for Steel must continue and she had to let him know about Mother. As much of a mess as she was, their matriarch's passing had cut one of her strings of insecurity and feelings of worthlessness. Not completely, but enough to give her the courage to embark on this journey in the first place. Her hope and prayer was that it would do the same for him. Perhaps some of his anger at the world would go with Mother. It was a crazy hope, but she felt that she owed it to him for the strength that he had shared in the past.

Her pale green eyes darkened a few shades as all of these though whirled through her head at lightning speed. Keeping her gaze on Ava she finally answered her. <b>"Y-your words are w-wise, Ava. I-I promise to k-keep them in m-mind."</b> She gave the black fae another small shoulder shrug and a small smile. <b>"For now, I-I will keep looking for Steel, but who kn-knows what the future w-will bring?"</b> Perhaps she would see Ava again someday, when her search was completed and tell her of her adventure.

As she spoke, she watched the younger fae closely. It was nothing that she said or did, but Jade sensed a roil of emotions going through the other woman. Being as on edge as she was all the time, Jade was more in tume with sensing things that were not readily visible. It didn't always mean that she reacted appropriately, like being unreasonably terrified of a non threatening wolf. But she could <i>feel</i> that something was bothering the other wolf. She was not brave enough to ask though and she looked away, embarrassed that her own fear would keep her from possibly being an ear for this woman that had been so kind to her. Taking time to listen to <i>her</i> and give her logical advice. She could have just walked away, but she hadn't, and for that Jade would always remember her and be grateful.

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Somehow, surprisingly almost, Ava's hard love had clicked within the smaller female's mind. It seemed as though she had stopped trembling, though her stutter was relentless, but one of the two still seemed like a great victory.

<i>Wise</i>, Jade had called her. It was weird to be thought so, but equally flattering. Ava was nearly halfway through her second year, somewhere in between "young" and "adult". Most wolves of her age weren't seasoned enough to have wisdom and yet she would accept the fact that her hardships had been enough to toughen her skin if not add to her intelligence. Ava felt gratified by Jade's promise, even if it wouldn't hold true. Their encounter was a small reminder that even a little effort could provide results - something that the dark-coated female had forgotten. Even if she was going to continue looking for her older brother, Ava's words had not fallen upon deaf ears and that alone would make a world of difference if anything would come of it. "<b>I'm glad,</b>" she responded following the green-eyed girl's words, her tone genuine. She <i>was</i> happy, indeed.

Yet as the quiet fell over them, Jade averted her gaze as though there was something wrong. Ava's brow furrowed as she tried to reason what it might be, but nothing really came to mind. She had certainly seemed as though she'd come to terms with her journey and what she could do... was she still conflicted about it, or something? An oddity such as that would have usually put her off, or at the very least been ignored. In the past few weeks Ava had lost most of her compassion. Yet her short conversation with the lost female had restored at least enough for her to lean forward a little bit and prompt, "<b>What?</b>"
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<blockquote>Jade wasn't sure what to do or how to react. Ava was also good at reading others and she had sensed Jade's worry or something. She gave her a questioning look and asked, <i>"What?" </i>She had a sudden terrible case of the jitters. She had come to a sort of friendly understanding with this wolf. She feared if she pressed her, she might lash out. Of course, she might just need a friendly ear. Jade warred with herself for a few moments before asking her in a quiet voice, <b>"I-is everything all right w-with you?"</b> Her tone gave the other unspoken permission to completely ignore her question as if she hadn't even heard it. Jade would understand completely.

She remained in her slight crouch, ears and tail low, but she wagged her multicolored brush in a show of appeasement and friendship even. Her soft green eyes showed nothing but compassion. Not a hint of pity or malicious intent to use any knowledge shared. Jade couldn't have ever do such a thing to anyone. It just wasn't in her nature. Muscles quivering with uncertainty, she awaited Ava's reaction, praying that she would not take the inquiry as anything other than it was. Simple concern.</blockquote>

<blockquote>For a moment Ava just stared, a little quizically more than bothered, at the small she-wolf. Well, she certainly wasn't lacking in gall - just the desire to use it. The shaky words had left the female's jaws moments prior but still the Poisoned female observed her, taking note of her slightly low stature and gently wagging tail. Her pale green eyes seemed to beg something of Ava - mercy, perhaps? Or just understanding. As much as the black-coated woman was against sharing her life story with strangers (when that had changed she did not know), Jade's figure begged her for honestly. She was a good-hearted wolf, plain and simple, and perhaps if she shared some of her own misfortune the female might feel a little better - perhaps not in the sense of schadenfreude, but just to know that she was not the only one in this world with woes that stuck to the forefront of her mind.

A gentle sigh escaped her parted jaws, winding through her sharp teeth as she dragged the exhale on while her amber gaze roved the mountains as though they might help her figure out what to say. Flicking her gaze to the small she-wolf briefly, Ava stated, "<b>Abandonment issues.</b>" Wasn't that the case with everyone? It seemed all hurt stemmed from the betrayal of someone else. Slowly, she elaborated, "<b>There has been a recent change in leadership in these mountains. Mind, we have not grown weaker in any sense - if anything our numbers and loyalty are now stronger than ever -</b>" a mild lie, perhaps, "<b>but it is... disheartening, for the change did not happen smoothly.</b>" The black she-wolf's words fell quietly as did her stare, now inspecting the stone-coated ground for some kind of distraction from her thoughts. She was fearful to reveal too much. Jade did not prove herself a threat but the idea of talking about the misfortune in a wordy manner did not appease to keep her spirits up. Delicately she murmured as an afterthought, "<b>Of course, we will all be okay. You and I, both.</b>" </blockquote>

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<blockquote>Jade waited patiently, but was a bit fearful. She worried that she had overstepped an unseen boundary and perhaps she had. Ava seemed like she had much weighing on her young shoulders, strong as they were. Perhaps talking about it would help... perhaps not. The little fae was beginning to think that the small bit of friendship that they seemed to have built was going to blow away and the thought saddened her to no end, yet she kept her soft green eyes on the dark fae, encouraging her to ease her burden if she could.

Ave seemed to mull over her question and after long moments, let out an emotion filled sigh and began, <i>Abandonment issues...</i> She told of changes in her pack, obviously they had left her faith shaken, but Ava still spoke with pride of the strength and loyalty of her pack and Jade smiled sadly, wishing for a moment that she had a family to have such pride in. <i>Perhaps someday.</i>

Ava had let her steely demeanor slip the tiniest bit in the telling, but Jade thought that just saying the words might have helped somewhat. She, herself, felt better for sharing her own concerns. Her own emotions were raw, but she felt for the other wolf. She obviously kept a strong front up at all times, for her uncertainty in sharing was a palpable thing. Jade was honored that she had opened up to her, a nobody.

Her last words or encouragement brought another shy smile to her face. <i>Of course, we will all be okay. You and I, both.</i> She was right, of course. Jade stood the tiniest bit taller and lifted her head several inches. They would be all right, in the end. Whether she found Steel or not. Whatever happened with Ava's pack. They would both be all right. A flicker of confidence awoke in the tiny wolf, feeling foreign, yet more than welcome. <b>"O-of course, you are right, Ava."</b> Her voice was still soft, but held a bit more strength than it had. </blockquote>

(I figure we might as well collect the points for this thread, don't you think? :) )

A delicate smile graced her jaw as the trembling female agreed with her. She shifted her gaze slightly to look her over, wondering if she truly believed Ava's words or if she was just pretending. Either way, Ava decided, it ought to work: fake it till you make it was an alright path to take when one's backbone was still growing in. With a second look Ava had more confidence for the girl: was that spine a little straighter than she'd seen it before? Even a wolf as dead inside as she had become could feel the warmth of their deed: it had helped them both, however small and fragile their conversation had been.

The urge to move grew in her legs and she lifted her head once more toward Jade. "I'd better return to the others," she said simply. Heaven knew they needed each other to hold it together and it made more sense to return whle her spirits were lifted, however fractional the height may be. But for the green-eyed girl's trouble she managed a grin: an easy one, not crooked in the slightest, that shone in her amber eyes as well. "If you don't find him, Jade, come back. There may be a home for you here." Of course, that was the black-furred female's maximum sap levels for the day. Before she could get too mushy over their encounter, the turned on her heel and began away, trusting that the female would cause no trouble near their border.

(fin!)

(This post was last modified: Jan 08, 2013, 10:49 PM by Ava.)

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