It always felt as though he were somewhere else entirely when winter’s snow blanketed the world. Sometimes, he wished the snowfall would transform him, too.
Although parts of the river were frozen over, the audible hum of the current beneath the ice reminded the wolf who never really stopped wandering that some things do stay the same, underneath it all. Sunrise turns to sunset, days turn into weeks, weeks into years, and before you can blink an eye time has gotten the better of you. At least that was how he felt, traversing along the edge of the river like a lost boy. He’d become aimless lately, unable to connect any of his aspirations to a plan of action. Furthermore, he’d become someone he was not—impatient, bitter to a degree, with some level of unwarranted aggression…restless… And it wasn’t like he was in a bad spot. Grizzly Hollow truly meant a lot to him, his pack mates and their welfare mattered, and for the most part he believed that he’d done well taking care of them as best he could. And still, something was just missing.
Some part of him thought he knew what it was and why; he did miss Ava very much, longed to be with her instead where he was any given day, longed to be what she needed and wanted. The seasons came and went since the fateful summer nights that had brought the pair together, but her presence was always a constant comfort, and in truth it was virtually the only comfort he could draw upon. He had begun to question himself long ago, and each new day only pulled that which he needed to deny to himself. She was more important to him than this. She was his life, he’d given it to her honestly and selflessly, and yet…he had denied her what he’d promised. A villainous darkness had slowly overpowered the faith he had invested in himself, and…it was ripping his honor to pieces. Who he was and who he needed to be were two starkly different images. Where he was and had been, and where he needed to be, were two entirely different places.
Somewhere deep inside he knew this is what had drawn him from his home in the midst of winter, to walk along the banks of the waterways of the wilderness as though it would give him some change of scenery more intense than the snow cover. Perhaps he would feel a hunger other than that which clawed at his bowels. It had been his decision to leave the cedar forest behind for a little while, to catch a fresh start somewhere out here, a new perspective on life and the way he was living his.
His brows furrowed.
Each of his wide paws was placed with a subconscious sense of caution as he navigated across the surface of the frozen water, leaping onto more stable ground on the other side in a distasteful change of course. His weight caused the snow underfoot and the foliage which it covered to crunch sharply, and for a moment the dark ghost would pause to listen and ensure he was alone in this forsaken landscape; the moon was wide, the light it cast down cloaking the earth in shades of blue and navy, and despite how beautiful the scene was it all still felt so cold, like he was on the inside.
But there was no one here, not even a night bird to glide through the naked canopies as the sound echoed and dissipated.
EDIT by Rachel: I closed your div tags, Allie. <3