you do not know who is your friend or who is your enemy until the ICE breaks. In the few moments when Corinna toyed with the idea of handing over the pack as well as discarded it made him aware of two things. First, that this night really had pushed them to the edge, and even Corinna was teetering on the brink. Second, that she still had enough strength to fight through this, refusing to give in to the easier, weaker path. He couldn't but admire the strength she possessed, even if she was more or less on her knees right now - she still refused to give up, and silently he swore to support her until neither of them could crawl another inch towards the sun.. even if Swift River fell apart around them, he'd not abandon her. Friendship ran deeper than pack. He'd not turn his back on her, not be a fair-weather friend, not be like those who just ran away like cowards... He didn't know which one to hate the more; Naira, for agreeing, or Rhysis, for being Rhysis. The intense call of the black-furred idiot still echoed in the cavity of his skull. Naira hadn't acted alone, but she was far from free of blame.
As Corinna's muzzle gently pushed against his own, he gave a soft whine and leaned into the touch, prolonging it slightly. The patch where she'd touched him felt naked and cold, as if the physical distance between them was a glacier. While no thoughts of such things were in his head, physical comfort had its charm when the world fell apart. To simply be near someone - to lie flank to flank and feel the steady rise and fall of breath, hear the soft thrum of a pulse not your own - was something that could take the worst bite off the pain.. but he held back, staying where he was, eyes of winter searching her face as his words registered.. her eyes widened, and Ice's heart stopped beating. Even if he hadn't thought of he himself being the one to father her cubs, her reaction could either spell destruction or renewal, continuation, of Swift River. The silence stretched, and he felt like burrowing into the ground and hiding, disappearing, sinking through the soil. The calm before the storm, when knowing the storm will come, can often be the worst sensation.. and it definitely was, now.
A sigh, green eyes settling elsewhere - out of respect, Ice took his own gaze off her face, staring instead at their paws. "I love Indru, Ice. I don't suppose that will ever change..." He sensed more than saw as her gaze shifted back, and sure as sunrise, she must've read the bewilderment that bloomed out across his face. "But I-?" he nearly protested, before silencing his tongue - by biting down on it. "It wouldn't be fair to you." He smothered the pained keen as his teeth drew a faint trickle of blood, swiftly releasing the pressure. In the wake of her words, his jaws worked soundlessly. He'd.. not really considered what he'd said. Apparently. But as the thoughts dared to bloom, he chanced a look at Corinna's face, his own rather innocent but.. sympathetic? Gentle? Curious? At lightning speed, his mind raced through possibilities and scenarios. Indru wasn't here, not now, and he'd know the pups weren't his - he'd be able to know he wasn't here at the logical time of conceiving, given that it'd probably be a late birth, with it being so late in the season. But how would he react? Anger? Would he harm the pups (can he truly do that to her?), or just be content with driving him - Ice - out, and adopting them as his own? Or would he accept that someone else had fathered them? Would Ice become leader, or just a convenient, loyal Guard who donated some genetic material? What on earth would he say to Indru if - when - they met again? Would he give it all up with the promise that the children not be harmed, or would he, stars forbid, stand up for whatever new role he had in the pack?
There was no way of knowing.. except one.
"Life isn't fair," he said, voice tinted by bitterness. His childhood had taught him that. "But.. if he loves you, as he should... Would instinct blind him to your love for your children? Would he harm them, for not being his? Harm you, for.." He grew silent again, before giving his head a slow shake. "He's not here, Cori," he whispered hoarsely. "He's not here to ensure the future of his pack, or the well-being of his children.. of his mate.. of the rest of us." In that sentence, his own hurt at Indru's disappearance was laid bare, and it was beyond questioning that he, too, loved Indru, albeit in a different way. And that love was the reason that it hurt so damnably much in his chest, that sometimes he could barely breathe. "They'd be yours, more than they'd be his, or.. mine." Speaking of himself in such a context was weird, but it felt hard to turn back. He didn't really want it for himself - more for the pack. For Corinna herself. For Triell, and for Kisla, Rihael and Fenru. He fixed his restless eyes on her, sincerity in them, a seriousness quite unlike the sometimes bouncy, pup-like wolf. "And you wouldn't have to ask me for it, if I offered." Knowing full well what's at stake. .ice aesir |